10 Wrong Things you are Teaching your Son
Having a child is such a blessing; you turn into a mother and realize you are overwhelmed with not only emotions, but also responsibilities. Yes – your child is your responsibility and perhaps the biggest one. The most ironic thing is that he is not just a responsibility to you, but you are responsible for most of the things he does in his life. I know a lot of mothers are going to agree with me, but I also know that a lot of women are going to dislike a few things that I say here. However, I hope this article touches you somewhere and makes you realize that these are really the wrong things you are teaching your son.
Here are the top 10 WRONG things most of the Indian mothers teach their sons:
A woman is made to serve the man: It is a wonderful thing to serve food to your father, your in-laws, your husband and even your son, but don’t you think your son is going to expect the same from his wife, tomorrow? Most of the mothers hate their mothers in law, but unfortunately turn out to be the same monsters in law for their son’s wife. Teach your son to serve food to himself.
A woman’s character is judged by her marital status: I personally have several friends, who are unable to divorce their husband (despite domestic violence, verbal abuses and a lot of other mentally disturbing things) just because they have kids and they don’t want to be judged by them when they grow up. Are divorced single mothers really that bad? Ask yourself… look around… I think single mothers are ROCKING and raising wonderful children. If you are unhappy in your marriage and still dwelling in the relationship for the sake of your kids, you are giving a chance to your son to dislike and degrade divorced women in future.
A woman, who smokes or drinks, is a woman with absolutely no character:
This is obviously one of the most common wrong things you are teaching your son. I completely agree that you should not smoke or drink with your son, especially if he is young and innocent. However, that doesn’t mean you should tell him to dump his girlfriend just because she drinks or smokes. Please do not build stereotypes in his mind.
A woman should not have male best friends: If you have a best friend (I am talking about pure friendship here and not an extra martial affair), do not hide it from your husband. If he has a problem with your pure friendship with someone, that’s his problem and he will figure out a way to deal with it. You don’t have to tell your son to lie that you didn’t meet your best friend with him; this would make him a suspicious and over-possessive husband in future.
A woman has to stay with her in-laws: Okay… I know you stay with your in-laws and if you start living separately with your husband and son, your son might move out of your house after getting married tomorrow, but isn’t that great? Do we give birth to children to bind them with our responsibilities tomorrow? I don’t think so. You can always meet your in-laws every weekend or every alternate day, but the best thing to do is to have your very own separate roof; this avoids fights.
A woman MUST know how to cook:
From the time he remembers, he has seen you cook in the kitchen… is this really what you wish to do? If you are cooking with your will and wish, I am cool with it, but if you are forcefully doing it, just because you are a woman and it is a woman’s duty to cook… you are doing injustice not only to yourself, but also to the entire womanhood. The day he turns 8, introduce a new little chef to the kitchen and let him make his own sandwiches, omelets and other such snack items. Tomorrow, when his wife gets a warm cup of tea in bed during her period or her pregnancy days, she will bless the man you’ve raised. Let’s get rid of the wrong things you are teaching your son, at least for the sake of his wife.
A woman’s parents don’t need her after her marriage: Let your son know every woman’s parents need her so that tomorrow, when he turns into a husband, he visits his in-laws and takes care of them, just like your daughter in law visits you and takes care of you.
A woman’s true family is the family of her husband’s: No… a woman has a family of her own too. She has a father, a mother, siblings and other people, who can do anything to get a glimpse of her face because that’s all that you get to see of her after she’s married. Teach your son the importance of a woman’s family.
A woman has to listen and obey everything that her husband says:
The more you suppress and surrender yourself in front of your husband, the filthier thoughts your son would grow up with. Teach him the importance of dignity in a woman’s life and let her know that even her wife would not stand injustice tomorrow.
A woman is nothing more than a production machine: Just because your husband wants to have another baby doesn’t mean you need to have one; make your own choices. Raising kids in today’s era is not only stressing, but also financially difficult. If your son asks for a sibling, let him know he is special to you and you don’t wish to have another baby (unless you want to have one by choice).