I know what a broken heart feels like. I understand what you are going through. It is because I have gone through that feeling quite a few times in my life, not only because of the ones I fell deeply in love with but also because of all those times when my “so-called friends” turned out to be more devilish than the Satan himself. Recently, I have been heartbroken because I lost someone I deeply trusted. I thought my life had ended; the drama had returned. But then one night while I was on my swing, I suddenly asked myself – is it all that I will ever do? Find my happiness in someone else and then cry because he couldn’t live up to my expectations?
No doubt most of the people tell you not to expect, but that’s what love is all about – right? You expect that specific person to send at least one text to you in 24 hours or meet you at least once a week unless you both are in a long distance relationship (and are quite happy about it). In fact, my expectations were far lesser than those of other women I know. I am not a teenager to expect roses, teddy bears, chocolates, flying kisses or even PDA. All I ever wanted was for not to “hang”, not knowing what’s happening. I didn’t even know if we were in a relationship or not. My broken heart can be justified.
Nevertheless, I have paid a heavy price for my feelings. I then decided to come up with this post because I am not as hurt as I was. Not anymore!
So what helped me?
I wouldn’t say I am completely out of it, but slowly and gradually, I am moving on. Just like you feel right now, I had no intentions to move on from this feeling. It felt great. I felt beautiful. However, I didn’t want to hold on to something that was not very fruitful. I would never want to hold on to something in which either of us was not very sure. I gave it one last chance and then decided to walk away.
With the help of meditation and Law Of Attraction (popularly known by its abbreviation LOA), I am doing my best to move on from the hurt and pain. Before I tell you how meditation and LOA can work, here are a few general tips that are surely going to help you in your “moving on” phase:
- Do not stalk them on social networking websites. If possible, and if you guys are not working together, delete them from every corner of your profile. Erase their memories so that even Facebook doesn’t bother you after a year by popping up a few “memories” of the two of you together. If you are not through this stalking phase, continue with it. Ultimately, you will decide to give up one day. When you decide to delete and stop stalking them on social networking websites, come back to read more.
- Cry. Don’t keep it in your heart. If you don’t stay alone and if you are scared of being “caught”, go to your toilet or bathroom or the garden area of your house and release your emotions. It is okay to cry. Those who tell you not to cry are probably trying to make you stone-hearted. That’s not my intention at all.
- Let the emotions be “thoughts.” A very dear friend (Nagesh) taught me this technique. Today, you may want to cry on the memories that hit your head. For an instance, if he ever hugged you deeply, you may feel terribly bad to relive that moment over and over again in your head. Right now, you are fragile and thus, it is an emotion. Let this time pass. It is soon going to be a thought and not an emotion anymore. Whenever you feel like crying thinking about the memory you cherish the most with the person you are trying to move on from, switch to a better emotion. Instead of feeling terrible, relive that moment in your head and feel good about it. Feel good that it happened.
- For God’s sake stop listening to sad songs. I know you can relate to them, but they are only going to make you more fragile. Right now, your focus is to gather and not shatter yourself into pieces. Get what I mean?
- The most difficult thing is to get out of the bed and divert your mind. I know this because, for a long period of time, I allowed my mind to linger on thoughts and memories. I used to be in my bed, just stay there for hours and not do anything at all, only to realize I wasted precious moments I could spend on improving or exploring my talents. Trust me – you are simply wasting time and one day, you are going to regret it.
- When we are in love with a person, we often remember the things we love about them. It is time for you to remember the things you disliked about them. Did he spit while eating or talking? Did she wear too much makeup? Was he, at times, weird and boring? Was she too talkative? Make a list of all the things you disliked about the person. Now you have a lot of reasons to move on – don’t you? 🙂
- Look for a closure with this person. We often feel terrible when we are unable to have that “last conversation” with the one we love. Contact them – text them – call them. Ask them if they can accept you back in their life. If they disrespect or insult you or clearly reject your proposal, shake your self-respect to not see them again.
- Lastly, if you don’t want to “move on” from them or the reason for your breakup has got nothing to do with either of you (probably you guys have to move on because one of you is married, the parents are not happy with your relationship or your better half has passed away), it is time for you to transform this pain into power. Find out ways in which you can turn this pain into something creative. For an instance, I decided to write songs and sing. It is okay if you don’t want to move on; eventually, time will heal your wounds and you will be in a much better position.
Now let me tell you how I am taking the help of meditation and chanting to heal my hurting heart:
- I have started meditating every night. Even if I spend only 15 minutes on meditation, it helps. My intention is to cut off chords with this person. Imagine them sitting in front of you, just the way you sit on the floor while meditating. Now imagine a chord connecting your Heart Chakra with theirs (in the middle of the chest). Imagine holding a scissor or knife and cut off this chord. It may hurt a bit (I have cried several times while doing this), but this is the best way to spiritually detach when you want to move on.
- Whenever my mind starts tricking me and reminds me of this person, I hold my Jaap Maala and start chanting “Om Namah Shivaay.” A Jaap Maala is similar to Rosary and “Om Namah Shivaay” is a chant for those who believe in the power and existence of Lord Shiva. You can use any Mantra of any religion. Holding on to your Jaap Maala or Rosary and simply saying “This Too Shall Pass” also helps. How do I know? #beentheredonethat!
- It is important to forgive the person you want to move on from, even if they haven’t apologized. It takes courage to do so. While meditating, imagine them behind your closed eye-lids (it feels great to see them so close to you); instead of feeling helpless or angry, simply shower a green light on that person and forgive them for all that they have done. They might have betrayed or hurt you; they might have been rude to you, but holding on to any emotion related to them would only make it worse for you to move on.
Now, this is how I am using the power of LOA to move on and heal my hurting heart:
- Every morning, I begin my day with any five-minute-affirmation-video. Such videos are available on YouTube. I put on my earphones, close my eyes and let the affirmations heal me. They are powerful, even though they don’t seem to be working on day 1 or even day 2.
- I take out at least ten minutes to write the things I am grateful for, even if I am grateful for the memories with this person. We had a great time together. If the Universe wants, we may reconcile and make more memories in future. Being grateful is the key to everything – even healing.
- Lastly, I ensure to thank the Universe every night. I sit on my swing, look at the stars and smile with my heart. I thank the Universe for the strength I have been blessed with. If I have been chosen to go through this pain, it is only because the Universe knows I have enough strength to cope up with it. Also, I have faith in the Universe. If it is meant to be, it will. If it is not good for me, it won’t stay with me.
If you are going through a hurting heart, feel free to share your pain by commenting on this post. You can also email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you for all those lovely emails and comments you all have been sending me. Much gratitude!
Love and Light!
Your words have magic power of triggering dead feelings.
I am trying to feel okay, it’s been 5 months since my bf broke up w me. I tried to stay friends because I genuinely care about him. I was holding on to a hope that he would change his mind. Now I see that and see that friendship won’t work. At least for now. The pain I feel is the most intense I think I’ve ever experienced and I can’t imagine it being gone. Logically, I know it will. Thank you for sharing your experience and reminding us, in this situation, that this will pass.